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A mellow, sunny early autumn day, a delightful ground and the last game of the season, ingredients indeed for a longer than usual match report, though not one as timely as the generous hosts’, whose own version of events was up on their web-site by 10pm on the day of the match. The next few paragraphs will encompass a good game of cricket well won by The Gents against gracious opposition, some French history and possibly, courtesy of Mr. Bender, the finest example of the pot calling the kettle black since Joseph Stalin referred to Herr Hitler in a radio broadcast as a cannibal. The day was always going to go well once everyone had read the poster inside the Sports Club informing us that Ealing Council was “partnering” with the E.E.C. for a Safety Week, an added layer of security in these troubled times for which all are grateful.
Salix are a new Gent oppo and thanks are due to them for offering the fixture and to Maxie Haddow-Allen of St. Anne’s Allstars who kindly brokered it. Originally employees of Touche Ross they have been playing for a number of years, though the origins of their name are unclear. Royal accession in France was restricted to male heirs under Salic Law (Lex Salica or Law of the Salian Franks) which was issued around 509 in the reign of Clovis, founder of the Merovingian rule in Western Europe. It was reissued during the reign of Charlemagne (Carolingian) but was constantly being changed. Although in place, the law was not applied from the reign of Hugh Capet (who died in 996) until Philip IV (who died in 1314) as the Capetian dynasty provided sons as heirs to the throne. This changed in 1593 when Salic Law was invoked to stop Isabella, the Spanish infanta and granddaughter of Henry II of France, acceding to the throne. From then on, it was accepted as the law of the land, but it was not always quoted as reason for excluding females from the throne. Shakespeare referred to Salic Law in “Henry V.” So perhaps Salix disinherit bints but to be honest they did not seem a vengeful lot.
With the nights closing in, the organisers aimed for a 12.30pm start, which was not quite achieved, but as good as, and Salix batted without hesitation on what is usually a 200 wicket. This one was a bit spongy, however, and it was never easy to score runs. Snarler and Sanjay pinned down their openers until Spillane chanced the quick single once too often, several run out opportunities having been spurned, and Sanjay threw down the stumps at the striker’s end. It was good to see Wayne Thompson back after five weeks’ absence getting married. He pitched up in a retro USSR football shirt (the CCCP is Cyrillic boys, for SSSR), netted without gloves and off his usual short run gave Sanjay continued control. From the pavilion end Bill Flack had licence to toss the ball up and get wickets and my how he responded, only his second Gents game and his second four-for.
He had Rayner neatly caught HP off his glove, pinned Heaton lbw trying to sweep, tempted Cumming to chip to mid-on Sanjay first ball and had Kulasingam taken by Toft in the covers. Salix were struggling at 54-5 but skipper Shaw and Darling assertively took control in the best batting of the innings. Darling’s end was spectacular, Bill Flack taking a smart slip catch off Neepam Bhatt when the ball looked as if it had passed him. Buck then ended Shaw’s long vigil with his first ball, another good catch for High Street, his fifth of the season. An eloquent demonstration of the respect in which Mr. Snelling is held came with the dismissal of Fletcher, mid-off Neepam Bhatt diving forward to take a sizzling low catch. Many players would have been content to stop the four, or perhaps make a token effort to take the catch but Neepam knew this was Snarler’s last game until, at the earliest, 2007 and wanted to ensure he had his wicket. Snarler would claim another to wrap up the innings, sandwiching a Bhavesh Vyas run out, but Neepam was not to know that.
Mr. Bender, from another place, had by now turned up, looking fit and tanned, on his pushbike. He would have a busy Sunday, going for a sly half-time pint with Uncle Burman, bowling in the nets, doing a stint of umpiring and enjoying an hour or so’s post-match socialising before going off to play bridge in Ealing. What a trouper, though by the time he disappeared he had undone all this good work by accusing Burman of telling “stale jokes.” Flipping cheek! Most of his DB’s own repertoire was rejected by Mike and Bernie Winters for being too corny as far back as 1963, though a joke about women drivers survived into the first BBC series of Little and Large. Perhaps DB is losing his touch. He had several opportunities in the second innings to quip “Ah, I see Cumming is going back to his mark” but spurned them. At this level you simply have to take your chances.
Salix had declined to 110 all out. The Gents had taken six of the seven catches offered (Buck downed one, a brute), run out two batsmen with direct hits and used the conditions well. They now had not to panic and victory would be theirs. And that broadly speaking is what they did, although dear Bhav lost it totally, trying to hit every ball he faced for six before clubbing to deep mid-off for a hard-earned nought, his second in a fortnight. No matter, as two fine Snarler straight-drives gave The Gents a quick start – two wickets and double-figures with the bat, it was great to see and he expressed satisfaction at his day’s efforts after the game. Further joy came from High Street Ken’s innings. His cover-drive was working from the word go and his running between the wickets was as ever very good for not the youngest man in the team.
An unusual incident earned applause from The Gents. Mr. Flack gave High Street out lbw but the Salix team, after a brief team meeting, recalled him. This was one of the sadly few sporting moments of the summer, though Bill could argue that an imposed reversal of his decision transgressed his Human Rights as umpire. High Street and Justin then set about things for a few overs before both fell either side of drinks. This left The Gents with quite a bit of work to do and Moon Cat and Waynie responded terrifically, Mr. Gilkes continuing where he had left off against West XI and Mr. Thompson playing his shots all around the park. The returning Kulasingam got a deserved three-wicket haul by bowling Richard which gave HP a chance to be at the crease, in front of girlfriend Christine, as Waynie smote the winning boundary through mid-wicket with plenty of batting to come, including centurions at 10 and 11.
As it was the 60th. anniversary of the Battle of Arnhem, it would not have been right to miss out on the comfy Bridge Hotel, situated just five minutes away under a cheeky little underpass. This watering hole was particularly convenient as the game finished at 6 o’clock and the GSK club steward was NOT going to open the bar until seven. Some schismatic drinking, with the Ryder Cup spiriting away several players, then ensued before most of the team returned to GSK SC for some post-match nosh. And so another season, not without its challenges but a successful one withal, came to an end.
Oppo view – from the Salix web-site
It was an autumnal day as we convened at the unheard hour of noon for the last game of the season (well all except The German who was operating on European time). Cap’n Ben won the toss and put the Salixites into bat on a rather damp and dead, leaf-strewn, wicket. A bad choice as it turned out – the afternoon got windier and sunnier and the pitch dried out to favour the bowlers. But hey, are we weathermen? I don’t think so. And so commenced one of the lowest scoring games we have played for a long while.
Tight bowling and runs mainly in singles saw the team edge very slowly along. Cap’n Ben, opening, stayed around a while. The lower order had a thrash and alas poor Warwick, we knew him well, had a bit of shocker Golden. And so to tea, where young Ollie (3) and New Dom (104) shared a birthday cake as the Ryder Cup flickered on the screen. And then to bat with CK1 reminding us why he got the Bowling Excellence award and the rest of the bowlers being mean and on a line. But sadly 110 was not a defensible total and The Gents hit the winner with 7 overs to spare. And thus it was to the Bridge Hotel for a swifty (“They’re on me, lads,” cried New Dom as the Salixites collectively swooned). And so another summer finished as it started. Roll on 2005. |
