THE GENT

 

August 2005

No. 101

 

Tales from the corridor of uncertainty

 

Berkhamsted tickets now on sale

 

 

INSIDE…

 

17 July – Gents get even Player ratings and analysis Global warming in SW London Friendly fire – Gent-bashing continues ·         Match reports NB Weasels (lost by 7 wickets) West XI (won by 11 runs) Sunderland SC (won by 91 runs)

Heroes all - the GWLCC XV 17 July 2005

 

…REMEMBER THESE?

 

“The Gents are becoming West XI’s second XI”	Dave ‘George Roper’ Laing
“We will allow you the honour of playing us three times next year”	Phillip ‘Runner now’ Hill
“Perhaps we should give The Gents a year off to regroup”	Andy ‘Absent’ Robinson

 

Contact this magazine via e-mail andrewburman_840@hotmail.com or mobile 07802-788424

 

Read about The Gents on www.gowlcc.org.uk

With a little bit of Lady Luck

 

In doffing our caps to the memory of the late, great Stanley Holloway singing and hoofing his way through the above ditty in “My Fair Lady” we salute Sanjay Patel, something of a man of constant sorrow in recent West London derbies, who led his beloved Gents to a stirring victory over West XI on 17 July. Thus, just as Mark Taylor once declared an Australian innings closed with himself on 334 not out so as not to beat Sir Donald Bradman’s then record, the piranhas must wait for another feeding frenzy, for Sanjay declared, as it were, on seven derby defeats, level with MWH Ashton between 1990 and 1992.

 

 “For us to win tomorrow,” he mused on the Saturday, “We must play out of our skins or have a bit of luck.” How about both? Though one or two batsmen lost their wickets to shots that would have haunted them for a long time had the game been lost, The Gents batted out the 35 overs in testing conditions, the fielding was top-notch, the bowling accurate and often hostile and SP’s captaincy resilient and innovative. The luck came with the late withdrawal of Cameron Vine, who regardless of any runs he might have made would have been a disturbing proposition on a bowler-friendly wicket, and dropped catches, or at least their timing and distribution. The day’s top scorer, Nabil Husain, ought to have been back under the trees for not a lot instead of a cool 51. In contrast, the two Gent drops cost few runs, Chris Wright holing out soon after Dhruv could not quite cling on at backward square-leg, as did Master Taylor after Jim grassed a one-handed toughie at short-extra cover. Luck or skill? On another day Gents might have been all out for 70 and the club’s shadowy cohorts (who know who they are) would have been giving SP the curly finger.

 

Sometimes it takes a newcomer to deliver a harsh lesson and Mr. HP “Cheeseboard” Denton made the correct observation that in the three BAMC games he had hitherto played, The Gents had not always reacted soundly under fire. How refreshing it was, therefore, to witness sustained mutual support, though a few had their moments in the vinegar strokes of the match. Heroes abounded to complement Nabil and Snarler. Paul Turpin, underused as a batsman in his career to date, was given the gloves and produced a talented, committed display and he and Hemin, shepherded by Ken, ensured a workable total, but there were 13 heroes out there, including Justin Norcott, who kindly gave up his Sunday to support and field for a few overs. Meanwhile, no words of praise can adequately describe the skill and physical courage of Stewart Taylor, who copped blows on the head and hand from Snarler during his 38. Respect goes out to him and his vanquished team-mates.

 

The Fourth Estate regained its impartiality over at Beggar Mansions, with a very fair match report that gave due credit to The Gents, though the match-winning knock was not the subject of a eulogy: “A cavalier innings of 51 from Nabil Husain – probably the right tactics in the conditions – provided the backbone…” We love the ‘probably.’

 

How much fun West XI have had patronising The Gents in recent years and how quiet they are now. In contrast to the glut of informed, witty postings on The Gents’ message board (if you are interested, that is, in the office moves of American marketing companies and apologies from comedy Dutchmen along the lines of “Sorry, ik kan misschien niet meteen reageren op uw bericht, maar zodra ik dat wel kan, hoort u van mij!”) tumbleweed is blowing across theirs, for which vigilant employers are being blamed.

 

Heavens above…that was the beamer

 

The sides had gone to Gunnersbury Park on the back of differing fortunes. The Gents were below par in losing to a good Weasels side the week before, having dispatched London Rams previously, whereas West XI had won six on the bounce until the Saturday, whereupon they lost a practice game at Victoria RG to Plums, for whom Chris Folley scored 56 and our own Justin Norcott 44 not out. The relative records, excluding the Plums game, were West XI 13/2 and Gents 3/8. A casual observer might therefore have imagined the Beggars to be in good nick. Experienced ones thought, however, that the omens for The Gents were favourable. The Gents’ record there going into this game was 4/4 (better than Victoria RG) with only two defeats out of six since 1999. Furthermore, it had been a low-scoring ground in 2005, sides batting first in 35 over games (i.e. excluding the Lord Nelson Cup) amassing 83/8, 78 and 79. Though unbeaten there in 2005, the highest score West XI had to chase was 79 so anything above 100 was going to be uncharted waters.

 

Though it sits in an attractive park, the Gunnersbury Park pavilion was perhaps not at its best. The lavatories and washrooms were a sight to behold, with several new chemical elements being synthesised in the primordial slime in front of one’s very eyes. Dissipation is eating through the venue like worms through a coffin lid.

Gunnersbury Park heroes rated

 

Peter Denton	8/10	Let him run free! Low score but, deprived of gloves, allowed to roam in outfield, where he charged about like a baby elephant. Good pastoral work in outfield and merry quips in pub
Tony Buck	8/10	Early four off Mr. Hill but out soon after. Did not bowl but faultless fielding. Was so dehydrated drank shandy in Lord Nelson. “New” motor car subject of Met attention whilst proceeding eastwards at 28mph towards SE15
Dhruv Patel	8/10	Untraditional ejaculation of “F**ing sh*t” when he caught Mike Hughes lookalike Barling, dogged knock whose worth not reflected in runs scored (he ran brilliantly with Nabil), great death bowling. Went slightly radio rental on the One Slip Only issue until HP calmed him down
Nabil Husain	9/10	51 runs, 7-0-15-0 and caught Chris Wright at a vital moment. The usual quiet day at the office for this national treasure then
Jim Wright	8/10	Cool under heat. Fine bowling, comedy blob but much unheralded work along with HP calming down the more volatile personalities as tension mounted
Sanjay Patel	8/10	Poor dismissal but excellent, hostile bowling. Inspired captaincy. “Marshalled his forces faultlessly” according to West XI’s match reporter. Decisions over the course of the day impressive.
Mark Sciberras	8/10	The sideburned webmaster had a relatively quiet game by his stellar 2005 standards but still chipped in with the vital wicket of Taylor and a run out during a tireless fielding display
Richard Gilkes	8/10	A true team man, put the disappointment of his innings and a rare misfield behind him to pouch a vital catch off Neepam Bhatt and run out Blackmore
Stuart Snelling	9/10	Showed some of the top order how to bat and took four wickets. Also caught Taylor off Scibo. The boys have missed him badly, an epic performance that meant a lot to him and his team-mates
Ken Toft	9/10	Mature batting at the end and caught Bhavesh Vyas at backward point to give The Gents tangible hope. Fielded immaculately
Hemin Patel	8/10	Bright batting before perishing to a run out. Fielded steadily and offered continual encouragement, he must have been hoarse at the end
Paul Turpin	9/10	Superlative wicket-keeping, vital runs and top vocal encouragement throughout. First Gents win and what a stage for it. Purchase of spiked shoes and box in days following confirms that bug has taken hold
Justin Norcott	8/10	Fielded as sub and made some good stops, top commitment, top Gent.

 

I fought the Law 2

 

“Move along, please, nothing to see.” D. Bender of Perivale is carted off by the umpiring police from Gunnersbury Park

Interclub relationships would have been interesting had umpire AJ Burman not boned up on the Laws before the match. As West XI wickets tumbled, poor Phil Hill, hobbling in pain, called for a runner soon after his innings began. A Gent fielder objected. Now, Burman did not get where he is today by not knowing Law 2, which states:   1. Substitutes and runners (a) If the umpires are satisfied that a player has been injured or become ill after the nomination of the players, they shall allow that player to have (i) a substitute acting instead of him in the field. (ii) a runner when batting. Any injury or illness that occurs at any time after the nomination of the players until the conclusion of the match shall be allowable, irrespective of whether play is in progress or not.

 

So Phil was perfectly within his rights to call for a runner, and Sanjay was correct to allow it. One or two Gents then did a double take when whippet-like Phil Walton came onto the ground and sprinted into position, for etiquette decrees that the runner be of similar pace to the injured player (this is not in the Laws, the only guidance given is that the runner shall “where possible” already have batted, which was indeed the case), but no Law was transgressed nor harm done. Unlike at a steamy Sydney day/nighter once when feisty Aussie ’keeper Ian Healy’s diplomatic reply to a request for a runner by portly Sri Lankan Arjuna Ranatunga was “You don’t get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c**t.”

 

You youngsters think you know the lot with your MP3 players, your ‘Celebrity Love Island,’ your stereo pop records and your ironic T-shirts but nobody can hold a candle to the 1960’s/1970’s generation of Grammar School boys when it comes to knowledge of the Laws of Cricket. One’s life, one feels, would be complete if somebody could just Handle the Ball or Obstruct the Field in a Gents game.

Gunnersbury reflections

 

Richard Gilkes	Great game to play in yesterday. I thought we were 20/30 runs short although The Gents’ tail – Snellers, Ken, Paul and Hemin managed to add the vital runs after Nabil got away with a few missed chances on his way to another 50. In reply Gents held their catches and fielded well. Well batted Stewart Taylor who wore a couple in reply. Good team effort from us yesterday. Finally well played Paul Turpin. Great effort behind the stumps and far less byes then my twin gives away (only joking). Good luck with your impending arrival.
Paul Turpin	Thanks Rich. It was a joy to play in yesterday and a memorable first win for me with you Gents (believe it or not). It was good to get a go with the gloves, so thanks HP. I thought the fielding was superb, down to a great atmosphere generated by all. I reckon there was as much tension in the end as that England/Australia one-dayer a couple of Saturdays ago.
Stuart Snelling	I’ll apologise seeing as I’m now back in Brazil. I’m very sorry that I compared Weasel Gary Lynch’s umpiring to Dave Bender’s – the former is clearly a much better umpire. May I say that I enjoyed Sunday’s game more than any other that I have played for The Gents in my 10 years with the club (for many different reasons). I’ve had a difficult few weeks and beating the Westies was the biggest boost I could have had.

 

Global warming hits Surbiton

By Special Correspondent Arthur Bittar

 

A scorching hot day in suburban outer London took on the mantle of Oklahoma as a freak whirlwind engulfed the Plums Select v. West XI Select game at the Victoria Recreation Ground on 16 July. West XI were batting when the light breeze changed to a fierce wind and then a miniature whirlwind, which moved swiftly across the outfield, removing players’ hats as it went. Temporary umpire WingCo Laing commented: “What the f**k was

that?” However it was hard to discern if any damage had occurred to this Mecca of cricket.

 

Rain Men

 

The second scheduled game at Old Tennisonians CC was cancelled just two minutes before High Street Ken’s 10.47 train departed from the Essex hinterland on its tour of places name-checked in Ian Dury songs. The 12 Angry Men were also spared a journey from North London. It stopped raining at 2pm and some sort of game might have taken place, but the groundsman had already pulled it and offered a refund. Roll on Jay Bharat so we can actually evaluate the place in time for 2006.

 

Open season declared on magazine

 

The deadly infighting and power play of the Tudor court has nothing on the modern Gents, where one never knows whether one is in or out of favour. The latest to suffer calumny is assistant scorer Andrew Burman. In the last month, the veteran has been threatened with physical violence by the volatile Tony Buck, who took exception to the feisty Weasels match report, accused of plagiarism by the erudite Snarler and threatened with legal action by HP Denton for a misconstrued comment in a 1999 match report. He can do little right lately. Perhaps The Gent has had its day?

 

The NBW report is printed later and perhaps Tony has a point, though he would concede that, well though the Civil Servants played, it was a poor Gent batting display. Regarding the plagiarism charge, how were we to know that Master Pongo had seen Ricky Gervais’s ‘Politics’ DVD, which was, shall we say, the inspiration behind our musing about the BNP oaf in Gent 99? Guilty, fair cop. Regarding HP’s discomfiture, not guilty and that is all there is to it. The fact that he misread “prosperously-trousered’ as ‘preposterously-trousered’ and promptly went off into one should cause him to have a moment or two of quiet reflection.

 

Nor are other club legends having things all their own way. Mr. Buck’s complex ten-year relationship with Stuart Snelling took a new twist at the Oval when The Gents’ vice-captain, described by a Weasel spy as “absurdly behatted,” extinguished a cheap cigar or cigarillo on the palm of the latter’s right hand during a male bonding ritual. Masonic handshakes loom for the quickie.

Game 11: Victoria RG, Surbiton, Saturday, 9 July. Weasels won toss. Sunny, 22° (PALs League)

 

Champagne Perry pops his cork

 

A disjointed, below-par Gents’ performance allowed ten-men Weasels to avenge comfortably their June defeat. In a mirror-image of that affair, though played on a wicket less friendly to batsmen, the side batting first lost two wickets to run outs, was all out with overs remaining (though at Berrylands this was due to the scandalum magnatum of the Weasels’ scoring), the highest-scoring batsman was dropped early in the second innings and would finish not out, and the chasing side lost only three wickets in securing victory. Thus, a promising Gents PALs League campaign has petered out with two defeats, though the trophy can still be shared provide Pak avenge their one-wicket defeat to an eight Weasels plus a Pak combo 24 hours after this game.

 

On an uneven wicket, The Gents made steady early progress against an accurate attack with Buck scoring quickly until he top-edged to slip running back. The introduction of Perry from the Ditton Road changed the match, the pivotal moment being a brilliant low slip catch by Hayes to out Husain. Sanjay holed out and the returning Snelling was yorked by a fearsome delivery. But with Perry bowled out and plenty of overs in hand, The Gents could and should have built on the hard work of the top four to achieve a workable score. Sadly, Norcott was involved in the run outs of Gilkes and Lewis and the innings ended with 27 balls unbowled. It was all very well for Mr. Buck, during a spot of Gent-baiting post-match, to sneer at Dhruv Patel’s letter on running between the wickets in Gent 100, but it a fact that yet again two wickets were needlessly gifted to the oppo courtesy of daft calls. Indeed, when Norcott retired in pain from fielding duties it was unclear whether it was his back or brain that had gone into spasm. So, 112 all out against ten men and with a lightning outfield. Though the wicket did not directly cause any dismissals, some batsmen felt rather preciously that it was only a matter of time before a ball had one’s name on it, and therefore played shots they would not usually have attempted.

 

The tea-interval was not without its drama, as a lady, described by one of the non-PC players as “a Mick,” thoughtfully let her dogs crap on the outfield, though she did scoop up the best bits. After this graceful interlude, play restarted. The Weasels’ innings would be a bitter disappointment for The Gents, yet it all started so well, Hayes, Lynch (both bowled Snelling) and Woodhead (leg-before to Husain) departing for ducks. Perry, however, was in ominous form, clipping the first ball of the innings for the first of his 15 fours. He survived a tough early chance at mid-wicket and then followed in the footsteps of Kirk, Mahmood and Saiid from recent games to post a monumental score. His innings was not, however, without controversy. The skipper was apoplectic at the decline of what looked like a regulation lbw off a full-pitch that trapped the burly West Indian in front of his stumps, while The Gents thought Perry was later caught at the wicket (though in fairness the ’keeper thought the umpire’s decision fair). These things don’t matter but Perry’s constant harassment of his umpires does. He is good enough without that.

 

Still, no batsman can win a match on his jack so credit Iain Regnier-Wilson for a sterling 14 not out, though how he survived a clear run out was beyond several Gents lurking in the vicinity. Long ago declared bonkers, he knows no fear and played Snelling’s and Husain’s second spells wisely before suffering injury in the line of duty from friendly fire, a straight drive back off Snelling that hit his hand. As defeat hove into view, Husain tried a couple of bouncers, for which he was later admonished, that Perry pulled for four, with all the time in the world. It had been a hard-fought game with The Gents never giving up, but the better side won, as the Weasels played more as a team. The Gents’ highlight was the return of the new slimline Mr. Snelling, who has lost none of his pace or indeed mental acuity, judging by his precise denunciation of a rare piece of plagiarism in Gent 99. The Victoria PH then witnessed peace and reconciliation, though Mr. Perry did not show.

 

Gents; †Denton 9, Buck 19, Wright 8, Husain 26, Toft 10, *S Patel 2, Gilkes 14, Snelling 0, Norcott 3 not out, H Patel 0, Lewis 0, Extras 22, 112 all out (30.3 overs)

FoW; 28, 40, 41, 77, 90, 92, 93, 112, 112, 112

Bowling; Kirkwood 0-22, Hayes 3-29, Perry 3-16, Regnier-Wilson 1-27, Dyer 0-4, Lynch 1-0

Catches; Hayes 2, Perry 1

 

New Barbarian Weasels (won toss); Perry 87 not out, Hayes 0, Lynch 0, Woodhead 0, Regnier-Wilson 14 not out, T Pagan, *G Dyer, D Kirkwood, †N Richards and ANO dnb, Extras 15, 116-3 (26 overs)

FoW; 16, 17, 21

Bowling; Husain 1-34, Snelling 2-18, S Patel 0-23, Wright 0-20, Buck 0-5, H Patel 0-13

Catches; None

 

Lost by 7 wickets

Game 12: Gunnersbury Park, Acton, Sunday, 17 July. Gents won toss. Sunny, 30° (BAMC)

 

Sanjay’s street fighters turn the tide

 

As the 2005 Bob Ashton Memorial Cup was slipping from their grasp, The Gents dug deep to produce an heroic display to win a titanic encounter by 11 runs. At 83/4 and later 107/5 West XI had the upper hand but their last six wickets added only seven runs in circumstances of rare tension that only dissipated when last man Laing was simply run out at the ’keeper’s end. West XI actually outscored The Gents 103 to 102 with runs from the bat but debut ’keeper Paul Turpin produced a stunning display of wicket-keeping, letting through only one bye on a wicket that offered shooters and lifters at one end (where Wright and Snelling took their eight wickets and where 11 of the 16 batsmen who fell to bowlers were dismissed), and raging turn at the other. There were brave Gent performances galore to complement proven match-winners Nabil Husain and Stuart Snelling. Meanwhile West XI, though they battled to the end, were left to rue the drops by Bapu and Blackmore early in Husain’s brilliant knock, his fifth score of fifty-plus in eight innings this season. On such things as that and Ken Toft’s early instinctive catch to out Vyas, who had already scored 489 runs this season, do such tight games turn.

 

Sanjay Patel won a rare toss and decided to bat. Wickets fell regularly, including HP and Buck early, but once again Husain looked a class act though both of his two top-edged scoops to square-leg ought to have been held. Thereafter, he played brilliantly, striking eight fours all around the huge ground, including a trademark low straight-drive off Taylor, one of the few boundaries in the V all day. He needed support though but only Dhruv, in a nine-over vigil, really provided it in the highest stand of the day before copping a low lbw. Jim Wright played over a good yorker, but the dismissals of the rest of the middle-order were disappointing, the captain’s in particular, chipping Laing to cover one ball before drinks. Chris Wright bowled fast and accurately and deserved his figures.

 

At 80/7 Gents were reeling, but Sanjay had noted before the game that the last ten overs would be crucial and he was right as Snelling, Hemin, Toft and Turpin discharged their responsibilities to the letter, using up the overs and punishing the bad ball. Their 125, worth perhaps 150 had this been an 11-a-side match, was, therefore, somewhat curiously compiled. It contained 14 fours (West XI would score only five) but only three double-figure scores, two of those being batsmen ten and jack.

 

Snelling crucially dismissed Vyas and then bowled Bapu in three balls as he and Husain, running in practically from Acton Town tube, kept the run rate down, but Taylor and Aussie Mark Barling added 35 in an increasingly assured stand before Barling clipped Sanjay to short-extra cover Dhruv. Sanjay and Jim Wright bowled well in tandem, a frustrated Neepam Bhatt driving to deep mid-on Gilkes. Taylor’s long, brave vigil ended when he chipped Scibo to Snelling at mid-on but Walton and Wright, running very well, saw up the ton.

 

The dismissal of Wright, pulling a Snarler full-pitch to mid-wicket Husain, spooked West XI, for the required run rate, which had hovered around five for a while, now touched six. Dhruv bowled a maiden and West XI panicked as The Gents sensed the game was there for the taking. Blackmore was run out by a good Gilkes throw as Walton attempted an unlikely second, Phil himself then fell next ball, bowled by the Gujerat maestro. Bignell feathered the Snelling away-swinger to Turpin and Hill’s runner Walton was run out by a fine Scibo throw into the ’keeper. Kevin Allerton and Dave Laing did their best before a simple run out ended matters with six balls remaining amidst scenes of jubilant celebration. The Gents will have a spring in their step until and perhaps even after Berkhamsted. Only an idiot would make predictions for the decider, so we’re going for a Gents win by five wickets with a score of 178-5 in 33.1 overs (Wright 72 not out).

 

Gents (won toss); Denton 1, Buck 6, D Patel 4, Husain 51, Wright 0, *S Patel 3, Sciberras 1, Gilkes 4, Snelling 9, Toft 11 not out, H Patel 10, †Turpin 2 not out, Extras 23, 125-10 (35 overs)

FoW; 13, 13, 58, 58, 66, 80, 80, 93, 101, 116

Bowling; Taylor 1-16, Hill 1-29, Wright 4-17, Laing 2-22, Bhatt 0-14, Blackmore 1-16

Catches; Bhatt 1, Laing 1, Wright 1

 

West XI; Vyas 6, Taylor 38, Bapu 0, †Barling 20, Bhatt 7, Walton 13, *Wright 12, Blackmore 0, Bignell 1, Hill 2, Allerton 2 not out, Laing 1, Extras 11, 114 all out (34 overs)

FoW; 11, 11, 46, 66, 83, 107, 108, 108, 111, 111, 114

Bowling; Husain 0-15, Snelling 4-24, S Patel 1-27, Wright 1-19, Sciberras 1-17, D Patel 1-9

Catches; Gilkes 1, Husain 1, D Patel 1, Snelling 1, Toft 1, Turpin 1

 

Won by 11 runs

Game 13: Victoria RG, Surbiton Park, Saturday, 30 July. Gents won toss. Showery, 20°

 

On fire Nabil makes it two in a row as Mackems struggle

 

A chanceless, blistering 79 off only 56 balls faced by Nabil Husain led The Gents to two successive wins for the first time in 2005. Aside from Nabil’s innings, the highlights were a return to form for Justin, two wickets each for HP (his first for the club) and Richard and the return of Bill Flack, who took a neat caught and bowled off a powerful Dhruv drive. It was a mix and match game against a side struggling, by their own admission, to raise full sides this season. The three Gents who transferred regiments for the afternoon contributed two-thirds of the Mackem wickets and half the runs. Indeed, Dhruv ended with another Victoria RG four-for, though at considerable expense, as he bore the brunt of the assaults perpetrated by Nabil and, latterly, Sanjay.

 

Thirteen Gents were on the ground so a ten a side fixture was agreed, though Gents were down to nine when Mr. Butt was involved in a car accident in which, thank the Lord, nobody was hurt. Justin and HP embarked on neat platform laying against accurate bowling from McGirr and 61-year old Baker, a real trouper. But just as the Mackem batting would miss the likes of Stewart and Hardy, so their bowling missed Trow. No.4 Nabil was untroubled, striking 15 fours in taking his season’s aggregate to just five shy of 500 but Jim failed again. Buck added to his increasingly impressive bowling CV, inducing a Nabil played-on (moments after umpire Wright had predicted a century) but Sanjay hit Dhruv’s second spell all over the park, including a superb six over long on. Mr. Naish batted twice and 183 was the final damage, the highest at Surbiton this season.

 

The Sunderland reply was, to say the least, hectic, two fours coming off Jim’s first over, to increasingly Ashtonian invective from Sanjay. But he struck twice in his second over, inducing Marson to tread on his stumps for the second dismissal. Nabil bowled Guthrie and Howie and it was 30/4. He was promptly withdrawn from the attack while Jim was bowled through. Buck and Dhruv then produced the best batting of the innings on a wicket that was an improvement on early season, though still offering inconsistent bounce.

 

They batted positively and it took Bill’s caught and bowled to separate them. HP and Mr. Gilkes then bowled in tandem and very well they did. The Sunderland tail did their best and their elegant left-handed No.8 would have had at least seven to his name had Mr. Wright not clung on to a blistering drive, but there were still 14 overs left when Mr. McGirr clipped to square-leg Sanjay, who, as Bill and Jim had done before him, clung on to his first catch of the season, leaving Buck on 28 not out. It was not the strongest Mackem side but respect goes out to the seven who did play. May they overcome their logistical problems soon for they are a popular, friendly team.

 

Gents (won toss); Norcott 23, Denton 20, Wright 1, Husain 79, Gilkes 7, *S Patel 30, Toft 5 not out, Flack 4, †Naish (1) 0, †Naish (2) 1, Extras 10, 183 all out (33 overs)

FoW; 35, 36, 88, 137, 143, 166, 181, 181, 183

Bowling; McGirr 1-22, Baker 1-22, Howey 1-39, D Patel 4-57, Buck 2-38

Catches; Coad 1

 

Sunderland SC; Guthrie 10, Lampton 3, Marson 4, Buck 28 not out, *Howey 4, D Patel 15, †Coad 10, Burman 3, Baker 0, McGirr 0, Extras 11, 92 all out (21 overs)

FoW; 17, 20, 25, 30, 58, 79, 89, 92, 92

Bowling; Husain 2-9, Wright 2-38, Flack 1-26, Denton 2-6, Gilkes 2-9

Catches; Flack 1, S Patel 1, Wright 1

 

Won by 91 runs

 

PALs League

 

The 2005 league ended in a three-way tie after Pak beat NB Weasels on 31 July at Old Deer Park. Never has the maxim Bat Your Overs been more applicable than in the Pak innings when they threw their wickets away irresponsibly to be all out in 28.3 overs for…248! Fawad made 113 (Nabil bowled him for a duck in May while he did not even get his pads on in the June game) but Sam Ahmed, a Northants U.15 ladies player, a duck, as did Courtney Perry for NBW in their 117-9. There was some justice in the result, for Pak loaned Fawad to NBW in the controversial first meeting between the teams, not realising he could bat (he made 60 odd in a low-scoring one-wicket win). Mr. Owen said: “The pitch remained sporting all afternoon, with lavish lateral movement allied to random bounce. But at least we got a game in, and the rain held off. Good players and nice people, no shame being mercilessly dicked by them.”

2005 West London fixtures

 

Date	Gentlemen of West London			West XI
Sun 17 April	-	-		Addington (1743)	Won by 3 wickets
Sun 24 April	St. Anne’s Allstars (42-11)	Lost by 39 runs		-	-
Sun 1 May	Hale	Cancelled (rain)		Dinder and Croscombe	Won by 2 runs
Sun 8 May	12 Angry Men	Lost by 53 runs		India Select	Won by 9 wickets
Sun 15 May	Pak (PALs)	Won by 1 run		Staefa	Won by 53 runs
Sun 22 May	Urban	Lost by 32 runs		NB Weasels	Won by 3 wickets
Sun 29 May	West XI (BAMC)	Lost by 105 runs		Gents (BAMC)	Won by 105 runs
Sun 5 June	London Saints	Lost by 3 wickets		London Rams	Lost by 4 wickets
Sat 11 June	NB Weasels (PALs)	Won by 7 wickets		Captain’s Select XI	Won by 5 wickets
Sun 12 June	-	-		Octopus	Lost by 5 runs
Sun 19 June	Pak (PALs)	Lost by 6 wickets		Walthamstow Horizontals	Won by 8 wickets
Sat 25 June	-	-		London Saints (LNC)	Won by 79 runs
Sat 25 June	-	-		Walthamstow Horiz’ls (LNC)	Won by 7 wickets
Sun 26 June	Brondesbury Casuals	Lost by 3 wickets		-	-
Sat 2 July	-	-		Ditcheat	Won by 112 runs
Sun 3 July	London Rams	Won by 61 runs		Dinder and Croscombe	Won by 112 runs
Sat 9 July	NB Weasels (PALs)	Lost by 7 wickets		-	-
Sun 10 July	-	-		Sunderland SC	Won by 195 runs
Sat 16 July	-			-	-
Sun 17 July	West XI (BAMC)	Won by 11 runs		Gents (BAMC)	Lost by 11 runs
Sun 24 July	12 Angry Men	Cancelled (rain)		London Business School	Cancelled (rain)
Sat 30 July	Sunderland SC	Won by 91 runs		-	-
Sun 31 July	-	-		London Saints	Won by 2 runs
Sun 7 Aug	Enterprise	Surbiton 1pm		St. Anne’s Allstars	Roehampton
Sun 14 Aug	London Saints	Surbiton 1pm		Acme	Perivale
Sat 20 Aug	-	-		North Star	Leytonstone
Sun 21 Aug	Jay Bharat	Old Ten’ians 1pm		Captain’s Select XI	Hampstead Heath
Sun 28 Aug	St. Anne’s Allstars (42-11)	Barnes 1pm		Prince’s Head	Home
Sat 3 Sept	-	-		London Business School	Home
Sun 4 Sept	London Owls	Surbiton 1pm		-	-
Sun 11 Sept	West XI (BAMC)	Berkhamsted 12am		Gents (BAMC)	Berkhamsted 12am
Sun 18 Sept	Salix	GSK G’ford 12am		-	-
Runs Wickets Catches	Husain 495, S Patel 230, Denton 127, Sciberras 107 Sciberras 14, Husain 12, Buck/S Patel 8 H Patel 6, Buck/Turpin 5, Denton 4			Vyas 524, Bapu 325, Taylor 211, Wright 192, Bhatt 178 Laing 24, Hill 21, Taylor 16, Dane 14, Bhatt/Bignell 11 Vyas 12, Bhatt 8, Dane/Laing/Wright 7

 

Though like many talented players he is not a man for personal records, it is intriguing to completists that Nabil Husain is within striking distance of Jim Wright’s club-best aggregate 750 in 2000. Elsewhere, a few PB’s will happen, e.g. Scibo’s bowling, but the only other individual club record in danger is outfield catches (Hemin is two shy of Victor Richmond’s record). Sad to report only seven games to go now. Thank you for declaring your availability in good time, it helps, especially during the holiday season, which is apparently a time of year in August when people go to the beach and read slasher novels. The first shots of the Berko propaganda war have been fired, an Enigma interception implying that several divisions of Beggar infantry will miss that fixture due to opening a second front at the Oval Test. We’ll believe it when we see it, or were they, perhaps, convinced they would be 2-0 up against The Gents and free to organise other social activities willy nilly?

 

Is this your vehicle, sir?

Kind Tony Buck, giving Mr. Toft a lift to Waterloo after the West XI game, was pulled over by the police on the Great West Road just yards from the Lord Nelson and detained while checks were made. Computers track our every move these days, and Buck’s ancient Volvo had been registered by the DVLC as a write off, but the police turned a blind eye and eventually let him go on his merry way (not literally, he passed the breathalyser). Nothing was going to spoil Ken’s night though and he duly made his last train to Billericay. The Buck car itself is a thing of wonder. Perhaps its most impressive feature is the radio dial stuck permanently to Heart FM though the lack of passenger-side mirror and leaky roof also scored highly on ‘Top Gear.’ At the other extreme, the flashest cars driven by a Gent were the various muffmagnets owned by Mr. Ashton in his playing days (these days it’s more sensible Rovers). How he didn’t get pulled over in his 90’s heyday after stopping for a roadside jimmy – still in his cricket whites – on practically every Southern English A Road from the 307, via the 406 to the 1M and the 462 (with the likes of Victor and Marty Renvoize comatose in the back seat) is beyond us, but you make your own luck.

 

 

 

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