THE GENT

 

Winter 2004/5

No. 97

 

Tales from the corridor of uncertainty

 

A Gentleman of action

 

 

Bill drives…expect plenty more in 2005

 

INSIDE EARTH’S GREATEST CRICKET MAG…

2005 nets and West London fixtures Bill Flack interview Wayne, Snarler and Justin awards Protein Man lashes Nelson teas Sponsored by HP’s Porridge   Warming the nation’s tummies since October 2004

 

”If you are in the slightest degree doubtful, let me know”

(Captain E.J. Smith on retiring for a nap, SS Titanic, Sunday 14 April 1912)

 

Cards on the table

Gents upgrade for three Sundays

 

A happy New Year to you all and welcome back to a magazine that, according to Mr. Ling, refuses to move on. Plenty of truth in that, but this time of year is traditionally one for reflection and questions need to be answered. Why does the proven ability to impersonate Mark Ashton and almost every schoolmaster from Windsor Grammar School c. 1972 generate such apathy in the modern workplace? Did anyone understand a word of Victor’s Christmas card message? What will be England’s response be to Adam Gilchrist in the Ashes?

 

An interesting item of discussion at the A.G.M., rightly held back to meeting’s end by outgoing Chairman Snelling, was the club’s home venue. Mr. Hill asked “Why on earth do you want to leave Surbiton?” and, with the funds in their current state, no persuasive case could be made against him, though there was passionate denunciation of VRG strips by the skipper and Mr. Sciberras. A compromise of three non-VRG games was agreed and hats are off to Dhruv Patel who has brokered a deal in which The Gents will play on the Sundays of 1 May, 24 July and 21 August at the prestigious Archbishop Tennison’s SC in Motspur Park.

 

Exactly who will be playing for The Gents in 2005 is unclear. So virile and ambitious are GWLCC players that a series of recent and imminent childbirths and exotic career moves have put the cat among the pigeons. Several are about to become dads, while the world welcomed Dhruv and Reika Patel’s second son Chirag in November. Following Mr. Snelling’s exit to Rio, Mr. Sciberras has obtained work in Holland for NATO programming their nuclear arsenal, though he does not intend to miss any cricket, coding errors permitting. Hemin Patel should also be making a return and a Christmas card from Daniel Todd was capable of similar interpretation.

 

HP inspires Strauss’s waltz

All hail Peter ‘HP’ Denton’s role in inspiring Andrew Strauss on the South Africa tour. Peter is a manager at Sainsbury’s South Ealing store and on 20 October had the pleasure of locating for the Middlesex left-hander and Captain both golden syrup and rolled oats. These are two constituents of porridge, of which Mr. Strauss is clearly fond. Well done, HP. Sainsbury’s has always struck us as a competitively priced supermarket with a wide range of foodstuffs and other household requisites, and is well worth a visit.

 

Masher’s valediction to Snarler

“It has been a privilege to play in the same team as you over the past few years. It’s back to your fast bowling in the early days. It was a joy to know somebody could regularly take wickets, give away few runs and generally soften up batsmen. Latterly as wicket-keeper one soon learnt to improve the leg-side take (just kidding). If I had to sum up your contribution over the period one has only to look at the stats. Best bowler in the history of the club and instrumental in the most successful period The Gents have enjoyed. As a correct batsman this element is ever improving. As an unorthodox fielder those Teflon hands were remarkably reliable. I hope we will see your return in a couple of years as there is plenty of time to create new records. The Gents will find you hard to replace and the circuit will be poorer for your absence. I wish you and your family much success and hope to see you on your return. Finally get that throwing arm sorted, your missus could throw it further.”

Around the grounds

Moon Cat to chair Gents, Wayne, Justin, and Snarler win shields

 

The onrushing tide of change within GWLCC was clearly demonstrated at a well-attended A.G.M. with one change to the Committee and two new names to be engraved on the playing trophies, though perhaps not literally, as the shields are now filled up. That little fact in itself is proof of the club’s longevity and one hopes that the laurel wreaths earned in the new period will result from cricket as vibrant as that played in the old. The Committee has a new face and a shiny, handsome one it is too, Mr. Gilkes replacing his close pal Snarler as Chairman. Rich’s elevation to high office means that he will have to acquire new political skills and put away the things of childhood, such as spending the bulk of such assemblies as Annual General Meetings making off-colour quips to the club’s back-row reprobates.

 

All-time club great Sanjay Patel, than whom in 2004 nobody took more wickets and who was outscored, by just one run, by only one batsman and who also weighed in with most catches, was desperately unlucky not to win at least one playing award. Congratulations go to Wayne Thompson, who won both All Rounder (after a Hat-Trick of Sanjay victories) and Batsman, Stuart Snelling who won Bowler and Justin Norcott, who won Fielder and Most Improved. It is good to see some new faces winning trophies and Mr. Thompson made an impassioned and quite lucid speech before heading off into the night with new missus Eva. Andrew Burman nicked the mysterious Special Award back, or would have done, had the engraver, with eleven years’ of ditto marks to engrave, returned it in time. A late coup (doubtless born out of guilt by the protagonists after their 2002 A.G.M. shenanigans) to gerrymander this award to Mr. Snelling failed.

 

The big news from the G.P.O. (Essex and Hertfordshire Region) Cricket Club is that they will have not one but two Australians hiding under our beds and terrorising our children.  The onomatopoeically named Mr. Hookham will join Cammie Vine, a tough competitor who played for them in 1998 with great success, taking a ton off the Exiles and 84 runs plus five wickets against The Gents at Boston Manor. That game saw the institution of a great Beggar tradition – making the oppo fetch the teas, though in those days it was a shorter step to the Lord Nelson. Obsessives will recall that Messrs. Hughes and Ashton were the first Gents so to be lumbered, enjoying the golf on the Lord Nelson TV screen as Diane defrosted the cheese and broccoli quiche and smeared the marg on the Happy Shopper white sliced.

 

Nelson teas, though filling, lack salad, the food of champions, and are very protein-heavy. They would have met staunch disapproval from the late Stanley Green, the Protein Man who for years walked up and down Oxford Street, parading the same dietary message, to whit that all society’s ills could be ascribed to an excess of protein (“LESS PASSION / FROM LESS / PROTEIN: / MEAT FISH / BIRD; EGG / CHEESE; / PEAS incl.lentils / BEANS; NUTS / AND SITTING / PROTEIN WISDOM / ASK FOR A BOOKLET”). As Peter Ackroyd said in London: The Biography, “He was commonly ignored by the great tide of people who washed around him, and thus became a poignant symbol of the city’s incuriosity and forgetfulness.” Much like this writer.

 

G.P.O. will have a strong squad in 2005, so much so that Andy Robinson has recently been pleasuring himself at the prospect of Gent humiliation. Andy is harmless enough, so it was irresponsible of Tony Buck to threaten to “mow him down in me van next time I see him mincing down the Old Kent Road.” Murder solves nothing, and can occasionally even result in a short prison sentence. Where would The Gents be if Mr. Buck were arrested, charged, tried and found guilty and had to do, say, a fortnight in gaol and Sanjay could not play? Who would captain the team then? Honestly, people should think through the consequences of their actions.

 

Los Galácticos (no longer Los Geriáctricos) decided rather strangely to hold their A.G.M. in the City early on a Friday night, which meant that only the club’s central London bachelor boys could attend. In the absence of a Gent scribe, or any minutes, there is no further news to give. Mr. Hill subsequently confirmed “You will be glad to hear that it has been agreed by our members to allow you the honour of playing us three times next year.” I know, guys, I know, but one day our time will come.

 

St. Anne’s Allstars had an excellent awards dinner in Richmond and received a particularly celestial Apology for Absence, a telephone message from college alumna Mrs. Edwina Currie no less, wishing them well but telling them in a very strict voice to jolly well buck their ideas up for 2005, or else. This caused a strange but far from unpleasant feeling in the nether regions of the young men there assembled, notably Mr. Chicken, who last August spectacularly reprised the plot of the Cliff classic “Goodbye Sam Hello Samantha” by attempting to sire a son in the VRG pavilion just minutes after being bowled Flack for 14.

Back ten yards and call me sir!

 

Truly has bad behaviour on and off the pitch dominated this football season, with the nadir coming not at Old Trafford or in the Bernabéu but at Edgware Town’s White Lion Ground on 13 November, when Wares hosted Ilford in a Ryman League Division Two match. Edgware (0)0 Ilford (0)1 (Aban.) was the result, but how could this be on a sunny day? An injury to the referee perhaps? Let an anonymous Ilford supporter take up the story.   “Edgware were a bloody disgrace on Saturday. We scored a penalty with 20 minutes to go then they lost their heads. A defender was dismissed for foul and abusive language then their captain Glenn Parry was sent off for a second bookable offence. Wayne Grant then pushed the ref over and got sent off, then their manager Ian Grey instructed his players to get sent off to get the game abandoned.

 

“In the 88^th minute their goalkeeper swore at the ref – he went – then Dave Butler also swore at the ref and he went. The game was abandoned. They are a disgrace to the non-league game. For the record we had two players booked and our bench took some vicious abuse from the home supporters and pints of lager were thrown at them as well. We handled the situation with a great deal of dignity and were actually praised by their officials.”

 

One, Two, Three, Four, FIVE SENT OFF THEN! Something similar happened a few years ago in Div. 1 between West Brom and Sheffield Utd., where the Blades had three players were sent off and a further two went off injured (all three subs had been used). The referee abandoned the game and the points were awarded to the Baggies. They were leading 3-0 at the time and the result stood. Further afield, in 1995/6 in the Belgian League, St. Truiden had a game abandoned. They were awarded all the points and a 5-0 win.

 

Windsor and Eton F.C. have so far had a draw-strewn season in the Isthmian Premier, though three separate Holsgroves scoring in the 3-3 draw with Heybridge Swifts made ‘The Sun’ and their Stag Meadow ground, rather more populated than usual, made ‘Match of the Day’ as tenants Slough Town stormed past Walsall before losing to the impressive Yeading. Tottenham, meanwhile, have their first half-decent team since 1992-93 though will still finish behind Woolwich Arsenal.

 

Ancient Sunday booze ban lifted

From the BBC News web-site, October 2004

 

A village pub will open its doors on Sundays when a ban of more than 300 years is lifted later this month. Michelle Ayres, licensee at The Cat Inn in Enville, Staffordshire, said the pub was the only one in England expressly prohibited from opening on the Sabbath. But the estate which owns the hostelry and much of the rest of the village has agreed to permit Sunday trading after a request from Mrs. Ayres and husband Guy.

 

The inn will open between 12 and 6pm, starting Sunday 24 October. The reason for the Sunday trading ban is lost in the mists of time, but one theory is it was imposed after a drinker was caught relieving himself in the street outside. Another theory is that the religious local landowners of the day wanted workers to respect the sanctity of the Sabbath by abstaining from alcohol. The pub is now owned by the Enville and Stalybridge Estate.

 

Mrs. Ayres said: “It’s very exciting, history in the making. Other places don’t open on a Sunday but that’s through choice. We’re the only one in England that hasn’t been allowed. We took over on 20 September and negotiated with the estate and they granted it. They have started to move with the times. We are the only pub in the village and there is nowhere else to go. We’ll see what happens. We don’t want the locals rolling through the village, but they’re very pleased.”

 

This inn, by the entrance to Enville CC (home of The Bedouins) is known to the Editor of The Gent who visited it during the Bedouins/Enville II 20-over game on the rainy evening of Thursday 12 August 2004. Channel 4 highlights that night featured several pleasant, if not perfectly timed shots from Victor Richmond in Enville’s gallant, i.e. losing run-chase.

In my day!

Nostalgia corner: West XI v. The Gents, 21 July 1995

 

In a remarkable day’s cricket (later dubbed ‘The Battle of Brentford’ after a minor Civil War scuffle that occurred in the vicinity) The Gents levelled the 1995 BAMC series in a match now deeply ingrained in their folklore.

On a hot day and a lively wicket West XI openers Bignell and Charles Arthur endured a battering from the Gent pacemen to put up 74 in the first 20 overs before Charles succumbed to an Ashton throat ball. A fearsome Snelling then castled Bignell and Christensen in successive overs but the visiting attack claimed no further success as West XI scrambled to 154-3, West XI skipper Phil Hill becoming (erroneously) the target of a severe wigging from Mike ‘The Headmaster’ Hughes for fielder barracking (the guilty party being the tyro Taylor) as the players left the field.

A difficult afternoon for The Gents got worse as they slumped to 27-4 in reply before the contest was turned on its head by an extraordinary partnership between Ashton (71) and Wright (50*) of 127 in just 20 overs that ran West XI ragged, allowing the visitors to cruise home with more than four overs in hand.

Sadly, it didn’t end there, as a substantial ink war followed in the respective club journals with accusations and counter-accusations of poor sportsmanship, dangerous bowling and sharp practice (West XI, contrary to any previous agreement, sneaked a new ball onto the pitch for the Gent innings, a tactic that eventually backfired against them!). This probably marked the zenith of the fierce rivalry between the two clubs that had been escalating over the previous two or three seasons, though thankfully things began to calm down in subsequent contests.

From the West XI web-site. The Gents went on to win 2-1.

 

Cricket and the sit-com

 

Whereas the “Dad’s Army” cricket match is very well known, another more obscure example has been brought to our attention over the winter. In 1992/3 Jimmy Perry and David Croft brought to our screens “Grace and Favour”, the patchy follow-up to the immortal “Are You Being Served?” in which after Young Mr. Grace’s death while scuba diving in the Caribbean Mr. Rumbold, Captain Peacock, Mr. Humphries, Mrs. Slocombe and Miss Brahms end up running a country house bought by Mr. Grace with the Grace Brothers’ pension fund. In the episode described, the staff of the Manor play a cricket match against the local villagers. Mr. Humphries has problems with a local man, Malcolm Heathcliff, who thinks that Mr. Humphries has designs on Mavis Moulterd. Mr. Humphries scores the winning runs, signalling victory for the Manor staff.

 

Snarler’s New Year letter

Samba magic

 

A Happy New Year to you all. I’ve been in Rio de Janeiro for almost three months now and despite it being midsummer and the fact my eyesight is failing fast with all the scenery around here, I’m really missing the build-up to the 2005 season. I can sense that post-New Year deep midwinter sense of expectation as you all finally empty your kitbags for the first time since September. Ah, the smell of cut grass is not far off now and soon Wayne and Nabil will be screaming in at some poor unsuspecting West XI batsman whose stumps will resemble those on the attached photo. And Messrs. Gilkes and Norcott will be putting on yet another century opening stand against a flagging Urbans attack. Oh, for the joy of winter nets in sub-zero temperatures and substandard lighting and praying for dear life as Sanjay screams another straight hit six against the back wall within a centimetre of one’s head. Happy days.

 

I hope you are all well and can spare five minutes to let me know what you are up to. Congratulations to Dhruv on becoming a dad again and to Vicky for making an honest man of Jimmy! I hope to be back in the UK for two or three weeks in late June/early July. I will be paying my full subs and might be able to make myself available for selection for a match or two!

2005 nets and fixtures

Nets – Teddington SC, Broom Road, Teddington

Set your alarm clocks – 9am-11am on Sundays 27 February, 20 March and 17 April.

 

West London fixtures

The Gents’ 2005 fixtures are out. We are delighted to welcome a side highly regarded on and off the field, Pak CC, to the PALs League. Pak, immediately installed as 4/6 favourites on Bet-365, are a Home Office Pakistani side and have replaced 12 Angry Men, the 2003 champions, who will play only friendlies (including two against The Gents) this term. 12AM’s organiser Gavin MacMillan wrote: “Thanks kindly for the invitation to the League. Unfortunately though, the 12AM have struggled in recent years to get a team together on a regular basis. So on the grounds that we don’t want to disappoint, we’ll say no to participating in the League for 2005.”

 

Make sure you hand over the cup though, boys. St. Anne’s were sounded out as a potential fourth team but their planning was too far advanced and they had to respectfully decline. Jay Bharat return and we welcome Hale from Farnham, both to Archbishop Tennison’s. Meanwhile the usual suspects are present and correct on the Beggar card, though Staefa and Urban appear to be no more: a fair effort from new intern Mr. Hill.

 

Minutes of the 2004 GWLCC A.G.M.

Held at the Waggon and Horses PH,

Surbiton, Surrey

Saturday, 9 October 2004

 

1 Those present

 

1.1 Committee Tony Buck (Vice-Captain), Andrew Burman (Secretary), Patricia Langley (Treasurer), Sanjay Patel (Captain) and Stuart Snelling (Chairman).

1.2 Members Peter Denton, Bill Flack, Richard Gilkes, Phil Hill, Vikram Narasimha, Justin Norcott, Dhruv Patel, Ian Richmond, Mark Sciberras, Wayne Thompson, Ken Toft and Jim Wright.

1.3 Guest Iva Thompson.

 

2 Apologies for Absence

 

These were received from Mark Ashton, Dave Bender, Steve Bignell, Nick Boddington, Ryon Derriman, Nabil Husain, James Lewis and Faraz Sherwani. Vinayagan Sangaralingam did not attend and failed to offer apologies.

 

3 Minutes of the 2003 A.G.M.

 

These were issued in December 2003 and were agreed as an accurate record.

 

4 Treasurer's Report on the 2004 season

 

The club made an overall loss of £732.22 in the 2004 season, which is detailed in the accounts. Subscriptions were received from almost all members during the season. The large free balance at the end of last year made it possible for our pitch rent to be paid in full, and for our tour to go ahead this season. A steady inflow of cash this year was forthcoming, and players have been taking advantage of the revised subscription rates and match fees agreed last year. This has meant that the club has seen a few more players on the side, and less worrying about payment of match and subscription fees for those on low incomes.

 

Outside of the tour our second largest expenditure was for the teas. The teas proved to be very popular again this year, and apart from a couple of instances when it was necessary to clean the kitchen beforehand, the club was fortunate that the kitchen facilities were in a useable state so that teas could be prepared. Preparation of teas at home matches will continue next year. The Treasurer anticipates that the cost of providing the teas will increase during 2005, but will make every effort to reduce the costs without compromising the quality. A small fridge and kettle for the club’s own use may be purchased, depending on cash flows during the 2005 season.

 

The tour was well patronised and all those who attended paid in a timely fashion. The cash received for the tour by members and guests was such that it was possible for everyone to enjoy himself or herself to the full with enough club funds with which to pay. This meant that once members and guests had paid the fee, the club met all drinks, food, car hire, petrol and other ad hoc costs.

 

Members of the club also purchased new playing and first aid equipment, which was badly needed. Bank interest earned increased at the end of 2003. The club also made a donation of £100 to Chris Wright for taking part in the MIND charity bike ride.

 

Notes

1. The report and accounts were prepared by Patricia Langley B.A. (Hons), AICM (Cert).
2. The club is owed a refund of £60 from Royal Borough of Kingston-upon-Thames because VRG was unavailable for the scheduled match on 5 September. The Treasurer will accept a cheque or credit note.
3. Tour ad hoc costs related to petrol used and drinks purchased.

 

 

 

5 Secretary's Report on the 2004 season

 

Home venue

Victoria RG, Surbiton was again used for home games. The wickets were variable and sometimes dangerous. Other ground facilities were up to scratch. No pitch was prepared for the game v. Urban Associates, which was particularly embarrassing as the opposition had bought their families along. The game v. Kerala was cancelled on police instruction, having been cancelled by the groundsman due to a wet wicket in May.

 

2004 fixtures

A full season of 21 games was played of which two were abandoned, one due to the weather and one due to injury to an opponent. There was a successful tour, a hard-fought series against West XI, the usual friendly matches and the club’s first PALs League success. Fifteen games were won and four lost. The captain will as ever deal with the playing side. New sides on the card were Stumps, Old Rutlishians, Salix and Kerala, the last of whom we never got to play. The new oppo proved to be delightful fellows but if I were to plump for one happy memory of 2004 it would be the tour. The cricket was great and the agonising look on Mr Wright’s face when he was mulling over whether to move onto orange juice in case Vicky went into labour and he had to dash back was a sight to behold. Welcome Alexandra Hetty and all good wishes to Reika Patel who is due in a few weeks.

 

The ink was barely dry on the scorebook when London Rams and Salix contacted The Gents to renew for 2005, both requests for a game being accepted with alacrity.

 

I would not envisage a great deal of change to the teams we play in the short term. We need a development strategy and I hope we will move towards this tonight. I would like to see us play at better grounds but that costs money, money that we do not currently have. Our current membership rates and match fees cover our current running costs, that is all.

 

Membership

A year ago we noted that if “the club wants to field members-only line-ups, the membership is clearly too small to sustain the current level of fixtures.” An influx of new members meant that it was easier to raise teams and full sides were fielded each game. It was gratifying that in the June Weasels/Old Ruts double-header weekend, nine players played both matches.

 

Start times

The start time for home games was moved to 1pm and this worked fairly well. Time-keeping was not always perfect, however and most games started a little late.

Sponsorship

Chivers Easton Brown were contacted as per the agreement and asked if they wanted to renew their sponsorship of the club. They did not reply. If you look at the £1,000 received, at least half went on the shirts, which we rarely charged for. A possible way forward would be to try to renew the CEB partnership by running off some more shirts, donating a couple to CEB and charging members for them at cost, about £20. As noted above, the club sponsored Chris Wright’s bike ride for MIND, well done Chris.

 

Organisation

The membership increased in 2004 and full teams were fielded in all fixtures. The committee thought at one stage we would be in the difficult position of having to rest players for certain games but what looks a large squad in April can soon be reduced by injury or changing priorities and most players got the games they wanted.

 

Support

You are all here tonight because you are passionate about the club. It meant a lot to us when Jim Wright sent us messages of support from New Zealand in 1998 and 2003, messages whose intent I am sure will be replicated from Brazil over the next few years. I want to conclude by thanking a few people who have eased my task. My fellow committee members, the Captain not only for his energy and wisdom but for carrying the kit, the opposing fixture secretaries and all of you players and supporters.

 

6 Captain’s Report on the 2004 season

 

Sanjay Patel then reviewed the season game by game.

 

7 Proposal for full membership

 

Peter Denton and Bill Flack were proposed, seconded and elected nem. con.

 

8 Proposal for associate or student membership

 

Nilesh Patel, Priyesh Patel and Paul Turpin were proposed, seconded and elected nem. con.

 

9 Questions to the committee

 

None was received.

 

10 The 2005 season

 

10.1 Home venue

There was much forceful discussion on this point. The Chairman decided to throw the discussion open but noted himself that Victoria RG (VRG) pitches had deteriorated from the princely batting wickets of a few years ago but in his opinion were still good enough. In any case it had been a wet summer, which would have hindered pitch preparation.

 

Mr. Wright thought that VRG had been “a lottery” until the end of May but acceptable thereafter. Mr. Denton gave an opponent’s perspective, noting that The Gents were known as “the team who play at Surbiton.”

 

Mr. D. Patel said that The Gents should put pressure on the contractors via RB Kingston to improve VRG, a course of action which the Secretary admitted had only been tried before tentatively.

 

Mr. Flack believed that better wickets were needed and suggested asking the contractors to turn the pitches through 90°, “which would be at nil cost to the Council.”

 

The Captain felt that the VRG pitches in 2004 had been “diabolical” and Mr. Sciberras agreed with him. The Vice-Captain recommended playing three games away from VRG to test the water with a full review to be held in a year’s time.

 

There ensued discussion about which teams should be invited to play away from VRG, Mr. Sciberras warning that there was a danger of a two-tier fixture list, which might be seen as an insult by the “second-class citizens.” It was agreed that this would need sensitive handling.

 

The Chairman then proposed a Motion that three home games be moved from VRG in 2005 which was seconded and passed. Victoria RG, Surbiton will therefore be used for all but three home games, which will be played at a new venue, as yet undecided.

 

10.2 PALs League

 

The Gents were keen to continue but it was felt that a fourth team was needed. This could only be progressed once the core of the 2005 fixtures had been defined.

 

10.3 Subscriptions and match fees

 

The annual full membership fee will be increased from £35 to £40. Should the venue for home games not played at Victoria RG be more expensive, then the match fee for those games will be increased from £5 to £10. All other charges will be unchanged. The new charges will be:

 

 

10.4 Trophies

 

The current trophies are now fully engraved and it had proved difficult to source new engravable shields, though Mr. Richmond knew a steel products reseller who could help. Mr. Flack had kindly donated some new trophies and these could be used in the future. An alternative would be to provide a cup to keep each year, though this would be more expensive. No conclusion was reached on this point.

 

10.5 Web-site

 

It was agreed that the club needs a web-site. Mr. Flack still has intellectual property rights in the old PALs League web-site and will work with Mr. Gilkes and Mr. Sciberras to design and build a site for The Gents.

 

11 Any other business

 

The items on trophies and the web-site are minuted above.

 

12 Election of Committee

 

The following Officers were elected nem. con. Chairman Richard Gilkes. The following Officers were re-elected nem. con. Captain Sanjay Patel, Vice-Captain Tony Buck, Secretary Andrew Burman and Treasurer Patricia Langley.

 

13 The 2004 awards

 

The 2004 awards were voted for as follows:

 

All Rounder 1. Wayne Thompson 2. Sanjay Patel

Batsman 1. Wayne Thompson 2. Sanjay Patel

Bowler 1. Stuart Snelling 2. Tony Buck

Fielder 1. Justin Norcott 2. Ryon Derriman

Most Improved Player 1. Justin Norcott 2. Richard Gilkes

Special Award 1. Andrew Burman 2. Stuart Snelling

 

14 Close of meeting

 

The meeting closed at 9.30pm.

 

Bill Flack

The interview

 

The Gent: Bill, it was great to see you playing again at the end of last season. Not only The Gents remarked on that, but also St. Anne’s Allstars, who had never met you but knew you by reputation. Welcome back – you looked like you enjoyed it!

 

Bill Flack: I enjoyed myself enormously. It was good that my first game for The Gents was at the Victoria Rec. It helps if you are familiar with either your surroundings or your new team-mates, one less thing to worry about! Obviously I knew a number of The Gents in that first game plus the conditions played a big part with the ball not coming on to the bat, thus by holding the ball back a little and making the batsmen make shots I hoped to force some errors. Thankfully The Gents’ outfielding was excellent and the catches stuck. Had the ground been a little harder it would have been more difficult since the ball would have come on a little quicker and I would have needed a bit more accuracy.

 

How did you cope physically after being out for a few years?

 

My game has never been about fitness, although once many years ago the late Mr. Lloyd and I played four games in five days. Luckily there was a Bank Holiday Monday following my first Gents’ game and boy did I need that extra day. Despite an overlong soak in a hot tub, with a box of Radox when I got home I stiffened up and still don’t know how I got downstairs the next morning. The weirdest part was that it was my hamstrings that ached most. Probably due to them not being stretched for so long and then spending most of the day at slip

 

What are your happiest memories of playing cricket?

 

I’ve been lucky enough to have played on a County ground; back in the 70’s when Kent used to play at Dartford. Back then I played for Walworth Sports CC, who were a long established (1948) wandering side made up of top-class disillusioned Surrey and Kent league cricketers. During the end of my time with Walworth the club was run by a chap called Harry Persaud (cousin to West Indies star Alvin Kallicharran) and through his family connections I recall one game when we were two short – now the West Indies Under 19’s were touring England and a phone call later we had a full XI. Needless to say with Keith Arthurton and Curtly Ambrose in your side you don’t lose. Keith scored something like 190 not out and big Curtly (although only around 16) took something like 8 for 4. The end of play at the first President’s Cup was special, simply because we managed to make it all happen, the food, drink, organisation, great cricket and all four seasons in a day.

 

However my overriding memory, and one that I shall take with me to my grave was nothing to do with me, it was the wicket my late, great buddy Simon Lloyd took whilst on tour at the Broad-Ha’penny Down ground (home of Hambledon where the modern Laws of cricket were drawn up). Simon was a keen student of the history of the game and though he was terminally ill (only Mark, Mario and myself were aware of this at that time), he wanted to play and I can’t describe the delight on his face when he got that wicket – the three of us were so happy for him.

 

How has the circuit changed since you founded NBWCC in 1990?

 

Not really, there are still teams with the odd old boy, the odd schoolkid, etc. Perhaps it’s a little more competitive now, but then that’s a reflection on society as a whole. I don’t know if there is as much mixing after the game as there used to be. I can recall getting trains back to London Bridge from the wilds of Kent at 10 and 11 at night. Now it seems it’s a quick drink and then off home – but then maybe that’s me getting old.

 

It is curious that there are so few right-arm off-break bowlers on the circuit compared with the number of slow left-armers and leg-spinners. Any theories on why this should be?

 

In theory there should be no difference, however if you look at the game as a series of percentages then the most successful bowlers are the ones that over a season are the most accurate. Since the biggest percentage of batsman are right handed the ball coming into them, in theory is the easier to hit. So if you are going to bowl that then you must be accurate in both length and line. Now you can practice all you like but you must be allowed to put the theory into practice and here the skipper comes in to the equation but I’ll speak of that later.

 

Here is the drill I used to use that I picked up from some sessions at the now defunct Gover Cricket School. This involves opening a copy of the Telegraph (it used to be the Times but it’s no good for this drill now it’s a tabloid!) or at least a sheet of it on a good line and length and bowling until you can hit your target on at least four out of six balls. If you can do that for three or four overs then fold the paper in half and repeat and so on until you are presented with a half page, much like you would buy it at a newsagent. Once you can do that on a regular basis then you have a chance.

 

The skipper can help here too, by encouraging up and coming bowlers with a couple of overs each match. Older players too can play their part by recognising that we all have to learn and that it’s all swings and roundabouts. That’s why I was very encouraged with Sanjay’s approach to the last game in the season where those who bowled took a back seat when it came to batting. Obviously you can’t do that in every game but it was good to see that when he had the opportunity to do so he took it.

 

What are your hopes for the social cricket circuit as a whole over the next few years?

 

Firstly I think it is very important that the England team do well, because that filters down and encourages people to have a go at playing themselves. We need some good weather, it’s OK to occasionally play on a pudding pitch, those are games where you really have to work and you feel as if you’ve earned every run. With the publicity about the attempt to get the Olympics in 2012 I hope that cricket isn’t pushed to the back of the pile in the publicity stakes, which brings me back to my first point really. I would love to see more inner city kids playing the game. Things like the projects Surrey are running are OK as far as they go, but unless you can then take the kids whose skills you have developed and integrate them into established clubs then you’ve wasted your time. We want sustainable growth, across all creeds and integration of all.

 

And for The Gents?

 

Firstly a happy and healthy season, a replacement for the big fella is a must, not specifically a speedster but someone who is a strike bowler, who is accurate and can move it. In our class of cricket you only need to move it an inch or two either in the air or off the pitch to cause all sorts of trouble. Just look at Mr. Owen from the Weasels – he’s made a career out of doing just that. On the matter of a home ground I’ve never had any trouble with Victoria Rec. I understand it has been variable over the last couple of seasons but frankly that’s out of our hands; and finally a reverse in fortune regarding the Bob Ashton Memorial Cup. I am looking forward to crossing swords with the Westies again.

 

Do you detect a falling off of interest in playing cricket among youngsters?

 

It’s all down to Mrs. Thatcher selling off the playing fields and the insistence of some Labour Councils on non-competitive games (ha!). I didn’t play cricket on grass until I was 15 (with Walworth Sports). I learned in a school playground with a cork ball during the summer holidays, coached by a then England Ladies fast bowler and latterly by an opening bowler for Staffordshire. I think there are a lot more alternatives now than there used to be and the lure of the PC/Playstation is huge – after all you can do it on your own, in surroundings that you are comfortable with. In which case we have to sell ourselves and our chosen sport not just as a sport but as a whole lifestyle. It’s something I tried to instil into the Weasels, we were not just a bunch of blokes that played cricket, we formed genuine friendships, went out for meals together, to the dogs together, why we even organised a golf society that we ran for a number of years. Cricket is for life not just for Christmas.

 

So how can sides like The Gents, the Weasels and West XI help to address this?

 

Given them a carrot to follow and they will come. They need inspiration, goals and ambition. I am looking forward to a 17 or 18-year old off-spinner coming into The Gents, someone I can mentor; give advice to but also someone who will push me for a place in the team. From what I’ve seen The Gents have a very open door policy regarding youngsters. A few years ago Mario put forward a youth policy for the Weasels, we actively recruited a pair of youngsters because we recognised you can’t develop one in isolation no matter how well-intentioned, kids will always seek out their peers so it’s better to have a pair playing in a side than a singleton if at all possible.

 

Do you see much of the old Weasel stalwarts who no longer play – the likes of Mario Sozzi, Jeremy Best, Jim Patrick and Mark Brookes-Duncan?

 

Hardly anything. I occasionally e-mail Jim (The Claw) Patrick, who is back home in Belfast and see or e-mail The General (Brooksie) but as for the Beast and the Passport Office boys nothing. Jez and Del moved away to CICA in Holborn, Ernie retired and I occasionally meet Mr. Blackley at a market local to our places of work. The only guy I bump into with any regularity is Grovesie, who works for the Home Office accommodation side and thus my work tends to cross paths with his boss. I really would like to meet Mario again, the bloke spoke a lot of sense and his heart was in the right place. A most generous and kind man whom like so many of the original Weasels it was a pleasure to have known.